


(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it

by chaibrows



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, M/M, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaibrows/pseuds/chaibrows
Summary: Legend says that in a soulmate pairing, what one half loses, the other will find. Unfortunately, soulmates are rare and not everyone believes they actually exist. Freddie likes to think he's a believer, though sometimes this proves to be rather difficult.
Relationships: Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 14
Kudos: 19
Collections: Meant To Be: The Soulmate Challenge





	(i carry it in my heart) i am never without it

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'ed by [Phoenix_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix_Queen)
> 
> Artwork by [GreatFuckingMaracas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreatFuckingMaracas)
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day!

Jim was under the impression that if soulmate pairings did indeed exist, they were few and far between. He could probably count the number of soulmated people he knew on one hand, and a majority of them were ‘friend-of-a-friend’ situations. So it was rather unfortunate then, that he didn’t have many people to whom he could discuss his increasing suspicion that he was, in fact, a soulmated person himself.

Looking back, he supposed it started in his childhood with everyday items. Pencils and the like; things that he often mistook for his own belongings. Nothing was so glaringly obvious that it was enough to raise questions.

Currently this was no longer the case.

In recent years, Jim had started discovering things that he most certainly did not already own. There were kohl eyeliner pencils, hairbrushes, jewelry, and—on one bizarre and memorable occasion—a full length fur coat. By contrast, these items raised several questions.

Firstly, could a mystical universal force be wrong or was this a matter of human error? Jim had actively come to terms with being a gay man. That’s not to say it hadn’t come without its fair share of struggle, but he’d accepted it as a fact of life and moved on. So he supposed he’d have to be forgiven for his confusion at his apparent soulmating to a woman. Perhaps it was a case of a platonic soulmate; there was debate as to whether or not soulmates were inherently romantic in nature or if many people willingly chose to pursue a romantic engagement due to the level of depth and understanding that, by default, existed in the relationship. Regardless, a soulmate was a soulmate and if they were made by the universe to understand each other, surely she would understand that anything between them beyond friendship was unlikely.

Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, how was he supposed to find her when nothing provided any information on who she might be? It was completely impractical to think he could just question everyone in Carlow until they ran into each other. If she even lived in Carlow. For all he knew, she didn’t live in Ireland at all.

He was no closer to finding his soulmate when he eventually moved to a tiny flat in London, taking a carefully packed box full of her belongings with him.

❤️

“Careful, we can’t afford to lose any!” Brian admonished as Scrabble tiles clattered to the tour bus floor.

Freddie just waved him off and resumed placing the remaining tiles on the table back in the pouch.“Don’t worry, darling. They wouldn’t be gone forever, I’d get them back someday. Hopefully sooner rather than later, of course.”

Brian stared at him for a moment, mouth open and brow furrowed before finding his voice. “Surely you don’t actually believe that, Fred.”

Always the skeptic, Brian was.

“And why shouldn’t I?” Freddie asked, crossing his arms. “I’ve got nothing that disproves the existence of my soulmate.”

Brian rolled his eyes and Freddie could physically see him shift into lecturer mode.“The absence of conflicting evidence does not stand to serve as sufficient evidence _for_ your argument.”

“But didn’t you say that’s how your theories work?” Freddie sat up straighter in his seat, never one to back down. “They can’t be proven, it’s just a matter of if it can’t be _disproven_.”

“While I’m glad you listen to me when I speak, unfortunately you’re wrong,” Brian said, ignoring Freddie’s indignant sputtering and continuing on as if he were never interrupted. “Technically, a theory-“

Roger chose that moment to intervene, sliding into the seat next to Brian before things could get out of hand. The tour bus was only so big after all. “Alright, easy there, Bri. You’re going to put us all to sleep.”

“It’s interesting stuff, Rog.”

Freddie nodded, patting Brian’s knee gently. “I’m sure it is, dear. And normally, you know I’d be more than happy to hear all about the scientific process-“

“Method.”

“Of course. But as it were, I’m far more interested in why you’re so insistent on crushing my dreams. Honestly, Brian, I thought we were friends.”

“Freddie, I hate to say it but he does have a point,” Roger said apologetically. “It’s really just an urban legend. Losing something and having it magically materialize with the supposed other half of your heart and soul? It just doesn’t sound possible.”

It may not sound possible, but Freddie wasn’t too proud to admit—at least to himself, privately—that it still sounded nice. Was it really so bad to want to believe that a person that complimented you perfectly existed? Besides, there were plenty of other things in the world that didn’t sound possible and _were_.

“Exactly.” Brian nodded. Apparently it was Tag-Team Freddie Time. “There’s too many technicalities. What qualifies an item as being lost? Do you have to forget where you put it or does there have to be no chance of you getting it back?”

Roger’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! What’s the timeframe? Is there a grace period or something where it hasn’t transported over to your soulmate’s place?”

“I imagine it’s immediate,” came John’s voice from his bunk. Freddie had thought he was asleep. Maybe he had been and only woke up for the opportunity to be cheeky.

“You reckon?”

John rolled over to look at the three of them. “Yeah. If you wanted to keep something, you shouldn’t have lost it, then.”

Roger cackled while Freddie resisted the urge to drop his face into his hands in a public admittance of defeat. This was going terribly.

“John’s got a point there. That seems a bit inconvenient. Imagine leaving something in a hotel room. Even if you remembered it at checkout, it’d be too late.”

“I’d hate to be your soulmate, Rog,” John snickered. “Can only imagine what’d I end up with.”

“Oi, shut it,” Roger said, agitatedly ashing his cigarette. “I’ll have you know-“

“Typically—“ Brian held up a finger, cutting that conversation off before it could start, “—when you lose something, it’s because you’ve forgotten where you’ve put it, yeah? Misplaced it? So it stands to reason that if you left something behind in a hotel room then you know where it is and it wouldn’t end up with your soulmate. Technicalities.”

“The poor cleaning ladies.”

Freddie sighed. “You two ask far too many questions.”

“What about John?”

“John did nothing except offer insight, for which I am extremely appreciative. Thank you, darling.”

“Happy to help.”

Freddie smiled at him. It wasn’t that he believed Brian and Roger to be wrong. Far from it. It was just that he hadn’t given much thought to the ‘technicalities’ of the process in the first place. And for good reason; the more something is questioned, the easier it becomes to doubt.

As the conversation lulled—Roger digging a fresh cigarette out of the pack he carried and Brian banishing him to a different area of the bus—Freddie reached down under the table to grab the Scrabble tiles that had fallen. In this little space, away from the eyes of the others, it felt safe enough to let his thoughts wander. It wasn’t exactly true, what he’d told Brian about not having any contradicting evidence; really it was the lack of any evidence _for_ him having a soulmate at all.There wasn’t any particular instance in which Freddie could recall finding something that would have belonged to them. There were no slips of paper with reminders scrawled on them in a handwriting that wasn’t his, no business cards, no train tickets or shop receipts. Of course, there was the occasional instance where Freddie would come across something that he didn’t recognize, but inevitably someone (any other type of mate, be it class-, flat-, or band-) would claim it as their own. He’d learnt quickly enough to keep any thoughts of mates of the soul- type to himself.

“You get lost down there?” Brian’s face suddenly appeared in front of his own and Freddie startled enough to bang his head against the underside of the table.

Quickly dragging a hand across the floor, his fingers closed around a couple of plastic tiles and Freddie resurfaced with them, arranging his pained grimace into a smile. “If only, dear. It’d be awfully convenient. What if my soulmate found me?”

So yes, Freddie thought, it was easier and far less painful to believe in the existence of someone uncertain than to have to admit that he was most certainly alone.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://kensingtonmarketstall.tumblr.com/).


End file.
